On faith

My life isn't going very well right now. Starting a little over a week ago, things just haven't moved as I would like them to. School seems to be piling up everything it has on me. I'm extraordinarily broke. Yesterday, I even had a little car trouble.

As I was driving back to Lincoln from Hastings (both in the great state of Nebraska), I suddenly got a "Check Engine" light, which prompted me to call my dad. Before we got figured out exactly what was going wrong, my car died. On the interstate. In one-lane, construction traffic. I pulled over into the ditch. Steam poured out from under my hood. My dad came out to see what we could do. About three hours, a wrecker (to tow my car back to Hastings), and several police officers and highway assistance vehicles later, I was back on the road (this time in my father's van) headed to Lincoln.

So where am I? Even though everything is going poorly, God's given me this supernatural faith that sort of feels like He's leading me by the hand through something like the valley of the shadow of death. I, like a blind person, have no choice but to just keep moving where He's showing me to go. It's somewhat scary, but there are no other hands I'd rather be in.

At other times, I seem to get a little anxious about where everything is going. Still, even then, God seems to sort of remind me who He is, and then He reminds me who I am, and somehow He gives me just enough faith to get through the class, or the assignment, or the early morning to get things done, or the waiting for the wrecker to come pick up my car, or whatever else comes up. It's partially rooted in the theology gleaned through His Word, partially in what He shows me through prayer, and partially through a desperation that has nothing else to hold onto.

Anyway, I've written enough about bookish academic theology on this blog so far. I wanted to write something about the real-life Christianity. Really, they are the same lessons, but learned in different contexts. Sometimes I wonder if the Christian life is about learning what all those Sunday School, churchy, Christianese cliches really are all about. So, right now, I'm learning about the strength of God in my weakness.