Now that I have a blog on which I am posting my thoughts on everything (as well as a reader base that spans the entire Husker nation), it certainly seems obligatory to write about such a subject as the opposite gender (that would be women). After all, it's my writing on this topic that ensures the posterity of this blog!
First, I have a list of qualities I want in my wife. I want:
- a Messianic Jewess.
- a French or Scottish woman.
- a girl with dark brown, curly hair.
- someone who enjoys reading and discussing literature (and who is, most importantly, an ardent believer in the Law of Charity in the way of literature).
- a girl who could not be characterized as being "flirty," although she should be somewhat outgoing.
- someone who takes her faith in Christ seriously and will continually challenge me to do the same.
Of course, many smirk at my list, thinking it a bit too specific, but I think that the list itself is a good idea. In Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing, Benedick remarks:
That Benedick and I have slightly different tastes in women is not the point--the point is that we all should figure out our non-negotiables before giving our hearts away.One woman is fair, yet I am well; another is wise, yet I am well; another virtuous, yet I am well. But till all graces be in one woman, one woman shall not come in my grace. Rich she shall be, that's certain; wise, or I'll none; virtuous, or I'll never cheapen her; fair, or I'll never look on her; mild, or come not near me; noble, or not I for an angel; of good discourse, an excellent musician, and her hair shall be of what color it please God.
(By the way, I suppose that I could be convinced to marry someone other than a Scottish or French Messianic Jewess with dark, curly hair, but the type of woman in whom I am interested would not change. I just wanted to include that so not to discourage those of you who were not privileged enough to be born into the God's chosen race and/or in two specific countries on the continent of Europe.)
So when is this woman coming my way? No clue. I'll just wait. Where am I going with this post? Not really sure about that either. Perhaps I'll have more clarity about all this when I meet my Scottish-born, French-speaking, dark, curly haired, Christian novelist (think C.S. Lewis--not Christian girly novels).
19 comments:
Jacob, I do not think the issue is really whether there is a woman out there who meets your list, but rather whether she will be able to put up with you when you meet her? Heaven knows I barely manage it, and I am a guy.
I tend to express my preferences in women in a different method: disqualifiers. If a woman has a trait or fatal combination of traits on my disqualifier list, then I lose interest. A sampling of my disqualifiers would include smoking, irresponsible drinking, lack of serious relationship with God, refusal to stop downloading illegal music or other flagrant copyright infringement, not voting, owning more than three cats or dogs, and excessive swearing. There are many other disqualifiers of course. If a woman can get through this kind of screening, she probably has a decent shot. Gee, I hope OCD is not on her list of disqualifiers for guys...
Ben? Is that you? Or is it someone else who has an actual disqualifier of downloading illegal music and having pets?
ben,
first of all, please sign your name when posting. it took me until "downloading music or other copyright infringement" to figure out who was posting.
secondly, i'm questioning the whole disqualification approach. does it mean that your ideal woman could be completely inert? if so, i'm sure there are a number of single females in nursing homes and assisted living facilities that would meet your criteria.
but i'm with you both in spirit. my motto: never settle for less than God's best. actually, that's something i read on the back of one of the countless books on "christian dating" at the christian book/trinket/testa-mint store.
but seriously (and i've told jacob this before), while i think non-negotiables are helpful in the process, we have to realize that the type of girl we think would be perfect for us isn't necessarily who God has planned for us. often we think we need a clone of ourself, when in reality we need someone to compliment (sp? in the sense of balance rather than praise) our personality.
in the meantime, i propose that we drown our singleness with our respective beverage (or in ben's case, sandwich) of choice, as i am currenty doing with a jones cream soda at the (crappy south) mill.
cheers
I feel compelled, as a woman (with dark brown curly hair who enjoys said literature, though sorry, Jacob, I'm not Scottish/French) to voice some thoughts on this inexhaustible subject. I think both men and women create such lists of their desires for a spouse and that it is good to have non-negotiable things. So far the only one I've had on my list that has survived up til now is "tall and honest Christian male." There are obviously other things to be looked for, but what we think we want may not be the best thing for us. So while you're on the radar for this Messianic Jewess from Scotland, don't forget to keep your eyes open for a potentially different girl who is far better for you than your previous ideal. One thing about lifelong love is that it starts somewhere and sometime when we aren't aware of it.
just for the record, i've officially seceded from the husker nation.
so now you have an international reader base.
Jacob-
Hi, I'm a friend of Lindsey and Andrew. I wanted to comment on this subject as well. Can I ask you, for your future wife's sake, to consider discarding or at least signifigantly reducing your specific qualifications? The reason I say that is because, if this is indeed a serious list (which I think it is) and you end up marrying someone without all those qualifications (which you probably will) then she may struggle with some nagging insecurities.
That may seem far fetched to you, but believe me...it happens. If she knows about your list she may think you've settled or resigned after not finding the type of girl your list described. Sure you can try to convince her that you're better off with her but even we seemingly level-headed girls find ways to read into a million different things.
My advice: reduce your list down to "someone who takes her faith in Christ seriously and will continually challenge me to do the same". Let the rest be a pleasant surprise for your own sake and for your future wife's sake so that she doesn't have to deal with comparative insecurities.
Don't get me wrong, I used to be a list maker myself. It was something like "tall, philosopher, doesn't play guitar, outgoing yet pensive..." but I'm now dating an Asian guy who's a little taller than I am, a math/science-minded person and who plays guitar. Yet I wouldn't trade him for anything. So that's my advice. Take it if you want.
Enjoying your blog, by the way.
Thus chid* by all, so shall I make amends**.***
Yes, you all are correct that I shouldn't have such specific requirements. In all honesty, I am somewhat joking about the Scottish or French Messianic Jewess thing. I do have some reasons (indeed, well thought-out reasons) for desiring those qualities, but, if the girl God has planned for me differs from my preconceptions of what she should be, I am sure I won't be disappointed. Still, Karen's critique of this is quite persuasive.
Therefore, I will amend my list to her being a committed Christian who challenges me in my faith. I very much appreciate the guidance. Keep it coming. In the meantime, I'll keep writing and waiting for that girl who __________.
Andrew -- How did you officially secede from the Husker Nation? Was there a form to fill out? Did you write a declaration of independence? Perhaps this is cause for a civil war...
"It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us--that this football team, under Bill Callahan, shall have a new birth of success--and that a Husker nation of the people, by the people, and for the people, shall not perish from the earth."
#############
* - Chided
** - Pun on amend (as in change), and amends (to make right)
*** - That's not Shakespeare, but I've been reading him for about the last three hours, so it is beginning to flow out of me.
good stuff, by all.
jacob,
When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. My citizenship in the Husker Nation requires a loyalty to the Huskers which I cannot in right conscience accept. (Galatians 3:28 "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female, Husker nor Buffalo, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.)
Therefore, I secede from the Husker Nation.
Let me just say that several Nebraska people down at JBU just read both Andrew and Jacob's little speeches, shall we say, and much laughter was had by all. Your popularity and fame is reaching across the U.S.
"God's chosen race". hehehehehe. In which book did God make that choice?
Try Genesis chapter 17.
And here is a fairly good search that tries to get as many results as possible with the phrase, "You will be my people and I will be your God." It's not perfect, but you can see that that sort of statement comes up quite frequently.
----------
On an unrelated note, I take no responsibility for any posts Grant makes (or really anyone else for that matter, but especially Grant). Please address all hate mail to him. :)
You know Grant, I thought what you said was pretty funny. I also know you weren't 100% serious (right ...?). But after hearing various friends of mine of the male persuasion say things to the extent of "what are you doing in here? Get back to the kitchen." or "I just need a woman with the three C's: one that can cook, clean, and conceive", I've not taken offense to any of those things provided they're said in fun. We need you to keep things on the lighter side.
i have found you a woman who fits a reasonable amount of your qualifications: lauren winner, author of 'girl meets god.'
here's her resume:
--Jewish roots
--Brown, Curly Hair
--author that has been referred to as a "female C.S. Lewis"
--outgoing
--takes faith seriously
good luck in your interview.
viagra from canada generic viagra cheap viagra england viagra from india generic viagra india viagra cheap buy online side effects of viagra buy viagra without prescription viagra lawyer ohio generic viagra india bought viagra fuerteventura viagra 6 free samples viagra jelly viva viagra song
think dating sites had it pretty tough during the crunch
---------------
filipinaheart
Good post and this enter helped me alot in my college assignement. Gratefulness you as your information.
hi there everyone. I'm actually into shoes and I was looking for that particular brand. The prices for the boots were approximately 190 bucks on every site. But finally I base this locate selling them for the benefit of half price. I really want these [url=http://www.shoesempire.com]prada sneakers[/url]. I will absolutely order those. what is your opinion?
Hi
Very nice and intrestingss story.
Post a Comment